Covid 19.
It was Good Friday, 10 April 2020 and we had been Zooming with friends that evening. We'd said goodbye and in the space of thirty minutes I started to cough and develop a temperature. It was that quick. Oh my God. If ever there was a test, this would be it; days that seemed endless and nights that seemed longer. That's how it began.
I could not get comfortable. Everything hurt. I was grateful when Saturday arrived for I'd hardly slept thanks to the pain that moved through my entire body over the course of the night. Literally I felt it everywhere. In the crevices of each finger, down my back and out my toes. It was, well, weird. And a prerequisite for the days ahead.
Endless back pain arrived, that like I'd never known... sat deep in the bones and nerves of the spine. I was able to make it downstairs (at a distance) for an hour Easter Sunday, but was soon needing the quiet of the bedroom. I had an intensely sore chest, my breathing was a little laboured and I was exhausted, dizzy and parched. My fever was climbing and I couldn't help the sweating or shivering.
Lyme disease meant I was used to headaches and migraine, but two days in and the worse migraine of all landed. I felt the pain take grip and move across the right side of my head. A meningococcal headache that came complete with stiff neck and rash. I was really quite frightened as it had an electrical sense to it and it accompanied the 39.9 temperature that I would have for five days which would peak at 40.1 on the sixth.
I started chest physio and breathing exercises. These were incredibly helpful. I would be able to sleep for periods of time, always sitting up. A sore throat appeared. In a strange twist, I realised my sense of smell which had been missing for years thanks to lyme disease, was back. It came after a strong burning sensation in my nose and a vile taste in my mouth. Disgusting, the taste would last a few days.
The vice like migraine morphed into a very bad front lobe headache and my constant tinnitus appeared to have taken up residence inside my brain. The high fever continued, though I was now managing to get snippets of sleep here and there, broken by an inability to breath.
Fortunately the fever came to an abrupt end, but unfortunately, my breathing became worse. The air that refused to be sucked nor pulled into the teeniest of pockets within, offered my limp exhausted body no oxygen. I did wonder might this finish me off? And throughout it all, that cough. Excruciating. Just now with bruised ribs.
It settled into a pattern of being terrible at night, better in the morning and worse in the afternoon. And then came two nights where I probably should have been in hospital. But I was afraid that if I went in, I might not come out again. Simon and I would chat every few hours assessing where I was at. It was crazy as I see-sawed on. When I rang 111, I was told because my fever had broken I could stay home, but if I had another night like the previous two, I should call 999. Instead, still fighting for breath, I self-nebulised, for my sister-in-law, a nurse practitioner at Blackburn General, who had just recovered from Covid herself, told me to get on a Ventolin inhaler. Brilliantly, it was the turning point.
The notes on my phone, around that time, show that on Mon 20th April, ten days after going down with Covid 19, I wrote:
MON 20 APRIL
Slept ok. Sitting up.
4 ventolin puffs on waking.
Drenched in sweat.
Used inhaler on and off throughout day as needed.
Sore left rib - similar to that from lyme.
Ears noisy -v loud high ringing. Also lyme?
And yet this was the start of getting back to normal. Eventually I could hug my girls, and eventually, I knew I would be okay. I wouldn't require the eulogy I had penned one night at 3am. I know the remote healings a friend gave helped; I saw improvement after each session. Pain in the back ribs lingered - an odd place to feel pain, but that and some dizziness and nausea was pretty much it. I had stopped coughing. The final entry was written just after one month of going down with Covid19.
13 MAY
Mostly... Back to normal
Yet... strangely sore outsides of feet on and off.
Sore ribs on and off
Slight wheeze but happened only twice in ten days
Some extreme bloating.
Some joint pain - hobbling like old lady
Tinnitus
We are now towards the end of July. I am well. Really well. In fact, better than I've felt in ages. Each and every morning I wake up incredibly aware of feeling good - or rather normal. This in itself is so new as for years and years, thanks to Lyme, I've woken to pain, but now my first thought is that I feel well. There is no pain. No lyme symptoms... no hangover feeling, no migraine, no soreness or aching. Brain fog lifted. Eyes better. Tinnitus since set to low and often now switched off. The pain in my ears has gone completely. My memory is working again and my brain is in harness. Staggeringly, I wrote 20,000 words in ten days to complete a children's book straight after recovery. No way would I have managed that pre Covid19. Concentration was poor. Writing was sporadic and creativity stifled. Covid 19 has rectified that. The brain has been fried and consequently, completely reset. My joie de vivre has returned and I've reclaimed my sense of humour - this should probably come with some sort of warning?! In short, I feel I have a brand new life. A new beginning. My children have told me, they feel they have a new mum. That will be because I no longer have lyme fatigue... no longer will doing one thing wipe me out for the week. We have been able to do things together each and every day and it has (mostly!) been beautiful, and I have absolutely loved lockdown for this reason.
I have, I should point out, been cautiously optimistic - for I know what such stealth lyme bacteria are capable of - and yet this new freedom is incredible. I'm able to join in with life and then some! The energy remains and I am better than I've been in a decade. It is extraordinary. My life is taking off and I am buckled in for the ride. Who knows what lies ahead? God knows, I'm ready!
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