Info re Lyme Disease & Tick bites (How & where did I get bitten?)

Photo courtesy of California Dept of Public Health 

Ticks are small arachnids, part of the order Parasitiformes. Along with mites, they constitute the subclass Acari. Ticks are ectoparasites (external parasites), living by feeding on the blood of mammals, birds, and sometimes reptiles and amphibians  ~Wikipedia

And there you have it. Turns out it wasn't post natal depression in the truest sense of the words. It was a teeny little ectoparasite messing with me. For anxiety and depression are a part of Lyme. Wish I'd known that at the time. Life wouldn't have been quite so confusing.

When I think back, I realise there is a very real possibility I was bitten by a tick 25 years ago in Connecticut - the state where Lyme disease was originally recognised in 1975, and the very place it was named after: Lyme and its neighbouring town, Old Lyme.

And if Lyme Disease manifested in CT, then perhaps mine did too, for I lived in this beautiful wooded New England state for a year, working as Nanny, with three acres of garden in which the deer would roam? I would play right there with my three young charges. And of course there's every eventuality that I may have been bitten by a deer nymph tick/s then. So small, I would never have known. They're the size of a poppy seed. Yes, that's right: A poppy seed.

About that poem...

Fortunately that poem about suicide is no longer my now. It is but a memory. A memory of a time that was a dark and hellish place. A time I saw inside and out. A time that I learnt from, grew from, took strength from. A time that has led to so much more. A time that now means I am able to shine a light. For there was light to be found. Lots of it.

Lyme Disease, a poem about suicide: THE HERE & THE HEREAFTER

Lyme Disease - A poem about suicide

When I wrote this poem, clearly I was in a very bad place. I wanted to top myself. Don't get me wrong, I never would have gone through with it, but the idea appealed to me. A way out. No one knew how I felt, which now that I'm out of that hellish depression, strikes me as horrendous. But then, I was so busy being strong, I fooled everyone.

I'm guessing the main point people do go through with it, is down to feeling isolated, unable to share, pathetic, worried about being a social outcast? Perhaps pressured, even conditioned to believe that surely they ought to be able to cope?

I wrote this poem five years ago. But it has never been more relevant to me than it is now, just after a Lyme Disease diagnosis, and the fact that it describes many of the debilitating symptoms of Late/Chronic Lyme Disease to a tee.

For all who suffer with Lyme, the diagnosed and the undiagnosed, and indeed for all who suffer any chronic illness and dream of an alternative. This poem is for you.

Understanding Chronic Lyme Disease

For me, it makes sense to find out I have Lyme Disease. You see, there have been so many pieces of puzzle... and they finally fit together. I was diagnosed yesterday. I started on the path of connecting the dots in Nov 2015. But my body has been fighting it for years longer than that. Fighting mostly on the quiet. Feeling terrible but masking it well. 2018 now and a myriad of health issues later, I feel the need to remove the mask. To say I feel shite most days and horrendous many. I suppose being diagnosed with this silent disease of epidemic proportion, brings a form of relief as well as understanding. I'm finally able to start living the rest of my Life As It Is.

Those health issues, in the last 18 months alone, include a hysterectomy, three breast lumps - all drained (the parasite lives in cyst form), continual bloating, nausea, ocular shingles...

Chronic Lyme Disease - A diagnosis

Today I received a diagnosis of late Lyme Disease.

I'm feeling relieved.

Picturing Life As It Is

Back to it officially - feeling quite cheery about it too. Lovely office flowers courtesy of yellow sticker reductions - 70p - love a bargain! Happy New Year one and all. Let's make it a good one!

The LIFE AS IT IS Blog - six years on

Somewhat surprisingly, I began LIFE AS IT IS six years ago this year, and babies have long since grown into little girls. Over that time, the blog has documented the many ups and downs. The ups have been plenty. And the downs, well they've certainly given me much to write about, including many posts on allergies and hives, screaming, hospital visits, postnatal depression and more recently my personal battle of getting a Lyme Disease diagnosis. But whatever is happening at the time and whatever I write about, throughout it all, our little family has remained steadfast and secure. Living and loving our life as it is. And rather wonderfully, throughout it all, my stats tell me that you've continued to visit and read my ramblings. So I just wanted to thank you for continuing to do that. I really do love that six years on you still stop by to share!

The GraceFaith year long art project...

...A collection of artwork by the girls



Esme received Henna from Father Christmas, and a book on how to do designs. Here is her first attempt - which she painted on herself this week. I think she did very well.

51/52 The GraceFaith year long art project

Choosing a favourite piece of art, each week of the year



Going crackers! Quite literally as I've come to the end of 2017 and realised my week for this post is dated as the 51st. Scanning back I appear to have featured weeks 27 and 28 twice. Or was that 37 and 38? Don't suppose it matters now - out with the old and in with the new. Except, I'm not planning on keeping a continuous record of the children's art each week over 2018. At nine and six, they don't produce as much as they once did, preferring to spend time on other stuff they enjoy. Alas, the children are growing up. I will of course endeavour to record any other special creations here on this blog - mainly for them to look back on one day, much further down the line. In the meantime, Happy New Year!

50/52 The GraceFaith year long art project

Choosing a favourite piece of art, each week of the year



Was my birthday this week, the girls made these gorgeous cards

49/52 The GraceFaith year long art project

Choosing a favourite piece of art each week of the year

48/52 The GraceFaith year long art project

Choosing a favourite piece of art, each week of the year...



And she wrote inside her Christmas card design...
... 'Harry Christmas!' What else?

The real Father Christmas? Lapland UK leaves you all in no doubt

THE REAL FATHER CHRISTMAS?
Lapland^UK will leave you all in no doubt.

It’s that time of year again - synonymous with visits to (or from) Father Christmas. He just managed a turn at our Infant School Christmas fair would you believe? A busy man, right now he can be found in department stores up and down the country, garden centre grottos here and there, and sometimes even riding through dusky town streets on his sleigh. Wherever it is that children see him though, there’s often a question that follows, “But he’s not the real one, is he?”

There is one place however where that question is never asked. Never even thought of. And right now, some very lucky families will be excitedly packing bags, boarding flights and heading on the long journey north to Roviemi, Finnish Lapland, to visit Father Christmas at his official home on the Arctic Circle; the snowy white wonderland that it is.

We went two years ago, with our two daughters, then aged four and seven, and as you’d imagine, it was a fairytale adventure from start to end. For Lapland cannot fail. Which to be honest, was part of the reason why I was totally apprehensive about visiting another Lapland with them recently - not quite as far north this one, indeed it was just up the motorway. But really, how on earth was Lapland^UK ever possibly going to compare?

47/52 The GraceFaith year long art project...

Choosing a favourite piece of art, each week of the year



Decorating gingerbread @LaplandUK

FRAMED - Skates on

Look out folks, it's that crazy time of year again!

46/52 The GraceFaith year long art project

Choosing a favourite piece of art, each week of the year...

45/52 The GraceFaith year long art project

Choosing a favourite piece of art, each week of the year...

Musings of a 9YO

Fia: Esme, what will Father Christmas put inside our stockings?

Esme: Usually whatever you've asked for, plus loads of stuff from Tiger.


Note to self: Think I may need to redress the balance here.

FRAMED - Blossoming in the garden of divinity

Read this today, and it resonated...

No matter how you are meant to blossom in the garden of divinity, may you love yourself more, not less, every step of the way. 

Matt Kahn, The Divine Nature 

Bullied at five - a poem for #Antibullyingweek

Time to revisit this poem, which no matter how many times I read it, brings a tear to my eye.

Esme is now nine years of age, and the events that led to my writing this poem about her situation happened four years ago, when, as a summer baby, she'd just turned five and moved into year one.

Back then, she clearly could not comprehend what was happening to her and taking a hold. Sadly, communication often goes out the window in this scenario. You see, it doesn't make any sense that others are unkind, when they have only ever known the opposite.

Fortunately for both of us, she has since learnt to be a fabulous communicator. I cannot tell you how different things are for her. She is a confident happy child. I could never have seen how she would progress at the time I wrote this.

If you have a child that is suddenly not themselves, talk to them, look out for any tell-tale signs... remembering that little ones can be also be affected by bullying.