I went to Birmingham at the start of the year. It was something I wanted to do, although I knew it would take it out of my non-existent immune system. Sure enough the same week, headaches and fatigue kicked in. In Feb, I managed a night away with Simon and friends. I went for it, I paid for it. Another immune system fail. Truth is, thanks to Lyme, for a long time I’ve been living half a life. It’s the way it’s come to be and yet is a vast improvement on how things were a couple of years back. Thanks to naturopathic and Traditional Chinese Medicine I’m better, but these have only taken me so far, the latter stopping recently as I felt I no longer responded to treatment. I came to accept the status quo. Then Easter. Team Newland enjoyed a lovely Good Friday, but come the evening, in the space of 30 minutes, I went from feeling tired, to having a temperature and coughing.
The ten days between now and then have rocked our world. I can say that was far too close for comfort. I’m not out the woods completely but I’m over the worst and I know now that I’m going to be alright. Obviously, my Simon, chest physio extraordinaire, is a bloody legend and his halo is very much intact. The girls have swung between extremely anxious and super brave and positive, the two of them taking great comfort from one another. Not being able to cuddle them has been the hardest, and I’m holding out for the two-week marker so we can do just that. So far so good and please God, they and Simon will not go under with CV too.
I have to thank the amazing community around us, the shoppers amongst you leaving food on the doorstep, the lit candles, the positive vibes, the daily photos and general well wishes and love that has been so apparent. Then there was the help and advice. Reiki Dawn and Nurse Nicki, my sister-in-law JanJan– a nurse practitioner on A&E who had only just recovered from the virus herself and goes back to work next week. Karen, who consistently and positively checked in on me and gave me such hope having been there recently herself, ‘You got this!’ The brilliant NHS, 111. My parents, who I know have been so frightened, and anyone else I’ve forgotten. Oh and my Grandpa, who died when I was 12. I thank him. At my worst point he carried me.
When my Grandfather died, my Gran always kept a single rose in his memory. Simon bought me a dozen roses about three weeks ago. They were a £3 yellow sticker bargain and soon past their best, perished. All but one. Not only has it survived, but it has new life on it.
And what if thinking you are going to die becomes a gift going forward? Surely you don’t sustain such high temperatures without knocking out an unwelcome bacteria or two? I’m keeping everything crossed that this may just have been a blessing in disguise. For example, people talk about losing their sense of smell through CV. I haven’t been able to smell for years thanks to Lyme. But I’ve got an incredible sense of smell back again in the last week! The fatigue I’ve known for so long? I’ve only had an amazing sense of energy throughout this recent battle, give or take feeling a bit pooped in the last couple of days. Just maybe, my broken body has undergone some repairs in the process? It’s a bit too soon to say, but one thing is for sure, the love has shone out brightly here at no.19, and I know it is that which will help us all win this battle of uncertainty. This battle against CV. And for all those that haven’t made it, fly high angels. You have helped in creating a future of love and oneness for all humanity.
Stay safe all.
