Friday, 11 April 2014

LIFE AS IT IS... Giving up a comforter proves harder for Mummy!

I've made a cuppa and am writing this post while my 5 & 2yo daughters are separated. In their bedrooms they now play alone, as quite clearly today, they cannot play together. Esme winds Fia up. Fia bites back. Literally.

I have my suspicions as to why... Sofia Faith dropped her dummy at night this week, and has gone into a bed. Two massive hurdles. Some would say too much in one go - and they are probably right. It happened that way:

S: Mummy, I want a big girl bed.
M: Not until you are a grown up girl Fia.
S: I am.
M: Not yet darling. You still use a dummy to get to sleep.
S: But I love my 'dd'.
M: I know, but until it is thrown away, you cannot have a big girl bed.

Sofia then did something quite remarkable. She popped to the kitchen and threw her beloved 'dd' in the bin. (She dabbled with this recently, but after discarding it, she trapped her finger in the bin door, so quickly fished it out again. And that had been the end of that).

This time, with no trapped finger and a more than ever determined 2.5yo ready to swap 'dd' for a big girl bed, I decided to take a gamble. I put the rubbish out. Then I threw the last two baby cups out too. Then I changed the cot into a bed and removed the bars. Then I shut myself in the loo and burst into tears. 
My baby was leaving. 
I knew it was time.
So did she.
She was all smiles.

That night, she went to sleep after only one hour, which I thought was fantastic. She slept through. 

The next night was not such a success. Ten times I had to put her back in her bed. She cried a lot. She asked me to take her 'dd' out of the bin. She asked for a cuddle. She asked me to sing her a lullaby. She asked me to sit in the chair in her room. She asked me to change her nappy. She asked for water. She asked for medicine. She asked.

The third night was brilliant. She went to bed and to sleep straight away. She slept 11 hours. And she has been brilliant ever since. At night. 

In the day however, her teeth seem to have taken on a mind of their own. She is clearly struggling. I know it will pass. What she needs is a lot of extra love right now. She needs comfort from me. And that which her 'dd' is no longer providing.

She wants so much to leave babyhood behind. I see that every morning when she walks to me with a look of pure joy on her face; elated that she slept in her big bed. That she managed it without her 'dd'. All night. 

Throughout this week I have witnessed her morph into big girl. But clearly there are repercussions. As Esme's kiss shaped bruises depict. I just hope I've got it right. Two big things in one hit, nursery fast approaching. I worry how the next few weeks will pan out. But I also know, Sofia has done well without her 'dd' and I will not be buying another. That seems strange.

Sofia has relied on a dummy to sleep since she was born. The trained nanny in me had been against giving my child one. Until I heard my new baby screaming in pain that is. And Sofia was in so much pain from the very beginning, it brought her some (not total) relief. 

But now the dummy has gone, and making the transition has been relatively easy for Sofia - she stopped asking for it within hours. Yet somehow, I'm missing it. What's that all about? I'm left wondering if this step forward has actually been bigger for Sofia or myself?!

Sofia had been taking her dummy out of the cot
more and more in recent weeks

FOOTNOTE: The hour is late now, and clearly I took a break from writing this post earlier.  They came out of their rooms and made up. Then we went out and the sisters grim got along brilliantly for the rest of the day. 

Climbing trees, scraping knees, and tiring themselves completely, they fell into their beds after tea and I haven't heard anything since. I expect Esme Grace is snoring as Sofia Faith dreams of all things big girl (biting her teddybear as she does so). Sleep tight my grown up girls. I love you.


Anonymous said...

Lovely post cuz. . You have 2 beautiful big girls cant wait to see you all again x

Emma Oliver said...

Ah thanks Cuz. When you coming up to stay?! x

Victoria Welton said...

Oh this is so beautiful. It is always hard when they make this transition but it sounds like Fia was ready for it :) Glad they went back to playing after some time out too! Thank you for linking to PoCoLo :) x

Emma Oliver said...

She was - as she was the one who ventured forth and put it in the bin, although as I anticipated, the Easter hols has been fraught at times with a toddler kicking back due to her tragic loss! Argh!!!

Loving life with little ones said...

Lovely post, some things are definitely harder for the parents than the children, growing up is surely one of them. we made the move to a big girl bed recently and suddenly my daughter is so grown up.

Emma Oliver said...

Another first this week as 'my baby' starts nursery too, but I'm embracing that as it is only 2 mornings a week to begin with! Thank you for taking the time to comment.