Saturday, 1 June 2013

TEN TOP TIPS FOR POSITIVE PARENTING


1) Make sure your praise is genuine and meaningful.

2) Praise effort as well as achievement.

3) Use positivity, praise and hugs to reinforce good behaviour, and do your  best to ignore less desirable behaviour.

4) Use distraction e.g. when your child is too boisterous, lead them into a quiet activity.

5) Keep in mind that toddlers will gradually understand how you want them to behave.

6) Do not laugh at bad behaviour; try to lead by example. 

7) Remember to criticise the action, rather than the child.

8) Try to pre-empt a negative situation coming and turn it on its head.

9) If you say or do something you regret, explain that you did not mean it and say you are sorry with a cuddle. 

10) Consistency is key.

Taken from the article Positive Parenting and the Power of Praise which if you'd like to read, is available as a full feature in the Autumn 2013 issue of Baby London Magazine.

12 comments:

The Mad House of Cats and Babies said...

I like this. All very good ideas. I have to admit, I try not to laugh at bad behaviour, but occasionally, my kids have done something naughty or the tantrums (from M) have been so epic and dramatic, and almost staged, that I have had to leave the room and smile, then come back and deal with the problem!

Emma Oliver said...

I know what you mean, sometimes, keeping a straight face is easier said than done!

Jen Walshaw said...

For me it is all about consistency. Plus actually putting what I know into action all the time

Emma Oliver said...

Like all parenting, everything at times, is always far easier said than done. But at least by remaining consistent, it becomes habitual to you and the children; almost automatic. That can only be good when it comes to reinforcing a toddlers good behaviour. I'd say you have it right Jen. THank you so much for your comment.

mama-andmore said...

Parenting is an incredible challenge - our daughter is generally a lovely girl, and yet we use the same parenting tactics with our new little guy and he is just a terror! It's important to remember that they are always different people, and also that these challenges will be quickly over. I also truly believe in not giving in to tantrums and tears - I'd rather have a fight over something now, than battler later, so set the foundations for good behaviour, regardless of the fact that we may need to take a different route with one child than we did with the other!

Vicky LovingParent said...

I love this. But it can be so hard to find the positive! Especially if I'm tired, grouchy, busy or fed up myself!

I think your first point is really important too... it has got to be genuine. Children see through it very quickly if we're just saying 'nice' things for the sake of it, and that can be just as damaging as not being positive at all!

I've found my kids react best to SPECIFIC positive praise. For example, "I like the way you've thought about putting detail on those leaves" ... even the detail is an odd squiggle or the picture itself doesn't look that great!

Great to find you via #PoCoLo. x

Sara Murray said...

Great points. For me, consistency is key, not just in how I deal with trouble, but in the way both my husband and I do. That along with follow through on consequences is so important. You have to mean what you say. And it has to be reasonable and appropriate. It can be so hard sometimes though, so the point about making sure you apologise when you haven't reacted well is very important too. #PoCoLo

Tori Wel said...

I have to admit to using all of these tips with Grace and agree with them. I have to also admit to laughing at the tantrums and sulky faces too sometimes though! Thanks for linking lovely xx

Emma Oliver said...

You raise a really good point here. I thought I had a tough time with my number one as a toddler, but number two, boy oh boy. She consistently proves to me that number one was not all that bad! Thanks so much for commenting.

Emma Oliver said...

Great to have you visit the GraceFaith blog, and via #PoCoLo, isn't Vic a star?! It sounds to me like you have it just right! And the fact that you recognise that you get tired, grouchy etc, you have it right even more so. We are after all, only human. Thanks so much for commenting.

Emma Oliver said...

Hi Sara, hope that all is well in Boston. Thanks for your visit to LIFE AS IT IS. You make many great points in your comment. I especially like the one about joint parenting. Esme has already begun to play us off against each other. Clever huh these little people!

Emma Oliver said...

Thanks to you for commenting Vicky. It is all very well using these tips for babies to five-year-olds. I'm slightly nervous re the teen years. God, I know what I was like! x