Monday, 10 June 2013

To recap: Nursery nursing, snot & job satisfaction

Week two of training as a nursery nurse in a special needs nursery, and for some reason this little one had taken to me. Probably because Downs syndrome children are so full of affection. She had a bad cold, the sort where permanent train tracks of snot conjoin nose and mouth. Her glasses were skewed; barely on. Her knotted hair wild. Her smile massive. She was deaf. But as I hammered on the floor in front of the tunnel that she motored through, she felt the vibration. She looked up at me. Her smile enlarged. The gap between us closed. She reached me. She threw herself upon me. Laughing. Hugging. Holding me close. She pulled her head back to look into my eyes. To check I laughed too. As she did so, the spaghetti string of snot, stretched out bridging the two of us. Her world, her silent world, was loud, noisy and full to the brim with happiness. I remember thinking, I don't know if I'll ever find this level of job satisfaction again. I'm not sure I ever did.

FOOTNOTE: I wanted to add that I since found an amazing level of job satisfaction. Clearly I am totally happy with my LIFE AS IT IS as mum and with the writing/creative work I am able to do. With every blank page that becomes written and worked up, I am fulfilled. But, the point that I was trying to make above, is that the sort of satisfaction that particular scene gave me as a 17-year-old trainee, remains untouchable. It always will. It was a one-off moment in my life.